Why I Had to Leave China

Image of a small American flag. In the background is the ocean.

So, I had to leave China.

I’m back in the United States, and for good now.

This is much earlier than I’d originally planned–the plan had been to stay for a year then reevaluate whether I wanted to stay on for another year–, but I had to come back for health reasons that just couldn’t wait any longer.

Simply put, I became very, very ill over in China, and due to my rapidly degrading condition, my doctors all recommended that I come back to the States for treatment ASAP. It was a slow decline that gradually snowballed out of control. First it was difficult for me to eat certain foods, then I would need to rest more than other people or take the odd painkiller here and there, until suddenly I couldn’t eat at all, I couldn’t walk around for more than five minutes at a time, and was in such pain I couldn’t sleep for stretches of days. The only way I was able to endure teaching during those last few days was by using my breaks to cry in a secluded corner and/or discreetly find a place to vomit.

I resisted and persisted until my body quite literally couldn’t function any more. My work wanted me to tough it out, and I felt intense loyalty to my students and coworkers. My doctors however informed me that, if I didn’t leave now, things could get worse, to where my life may be in real jeopardy. At the time they even felt one of my organs might need to come out, (which it still might; they’re keeping an eye on it if/until things worsen again), which, frankly, scared me straight. On top of my pre-existing health issues, there was a very real possibility that I was putting myself in harm’s way.

So, I caved. I gave in. I kissed my dreams of travel and completing my contract and collecting that sweet, sweet end-of-contract bonus goodbye, and left China. And I’m glad I did.

Yes, I only lived in China for about 6 months, half of what I originally intended. But I’m alive, and I’m recovering, and I’m beginning to find normalcy in my life once again.

Some people have asked me if I’ll return to finish my contract in China, but I won’t be. I simply can’t go back for so long again without putting my health at serious risk. The combination of environmental factors have too great an effect on my health, and to do so would be risky at best. That, plus I was largely treated like absolute garbage by at least 80% of the people I encountered there, from stalking to slurs  (“foreign devil” was my favorite) to people literally trying to steal pieces of my hair and/or grope me.

So I think it’s easy to understand why I’m not abundantly eager to return anytime soon.

I’m still upset that I was unable to leave on my own terms and my own timetable. But, all considered, I’m lucky I had a safety net I could fall into, and lucky I left in time. This entire ordeal has made me reconsider my goals in life, but right now my top priority is getting better. And I’ve been recovering slowly but surely.

If you’d like to be notified once I get everything back up and rolling, you can sign up for my email list in the box below. (I won’t bombard you with emails, just send you an update or article about once a month.)


I’ll keep everyone updated, but please be patient with me as I begin getting back into the swing of things. I’m happy to be back at it!
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Christmas While Abroad

Christmas is my hands-down, no-contest, favorite time of the year. This also means it’s a sentimental season for me, as it is for many people around the globe. But, being in China for it has definitely thrown my holiday spirits for a loop.

Did I at least get peppermint treats, you may ask? Christmas movies? Time with loved ones? Curling up with hot cocoa to partake in holiday traditions? Nope. Sadly, it was a regular day, wherein I tried not to focus on what I was missing back home.

Photo Credit: Toa Heftiba

But that’s how you make it through these periods. I knew what I signed up for when I came here–and I gained more perspective through it, too. What must it be like for Chinese people living in Kansas during the Lunar New Year? What must it be like for Indian people in Texas during Diwali?

Before I could only imagine their pain. Now, I’ve experienced it myself.

Regardless, I will move forward. I’m blessed to be living abroad, even if it is sometime difficult, and still am excited to experience all the wonderful things it has to offer.

Watch the full video above to hear more of my thoughts on the topic. What’s the most difficult holiday experience you’ve ever had? What made it so, and what did you learn from it? Comment below!

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Moving to China! | TRAVEL VIDEO

So, I’ve officially jumped. I’ve taken the plunge head-first into moving abroad, officially moving to China for a one-year contract as a teacher. I packed up my belongings, said goodbye to my family and pets, then got on the plane to China. And, honestly?

I was confident and excited–up until the moment I zipped my bags closed. Then, I was scared shitless.

“Who Does This?!”

Every way this scenario could go wrong played out in my head. Every fear I had about China plagued my dreams, both when my mind wandered and in my sleep. Who does this? I’d wonder, and it was a fair point. Who leaves everything and everyone they’ve ever known to go live overseas, in a place where they don’t fluently speak the language, they don’t know a single person, and they don’t know what’s waiting for them?

But, apparently, I do. After a lot of mental wrestling matches and talking myself out of buying a ticket home, I decided to stop. Self-doubt certainly wouldn’t make this any easier.

What Moving Abroad Has Taught Me

Moving abroad was a risk, but, these many months later, it’s one I’m glad I took. China hasn’t been perfect. No place is. But, it has thoroughly changed me for the better. It has taught me what I’m capable of withstanding and doing (like enduring the Christmas season utterly alone), as well as exposed me to new experiences and tested my spirit. Ultimately, I could make an entire separate post about all of this. (Keep your eyes open for it!)

For now, I’ll continue to persevere, foster self-confidence, and carry on.

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What’s one experience you’ve had where you experienced self-doubt, but finally overcame?

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I’m Moving to China!

As you can tell from the title, I am moving across the globe to China! To the north-eastern city of Changchun, in fact. In this video I cover 4 main things about my upcoming journey: where I’ll be living, how long I’ll be there, what I’ll be doing, and why I’ve decided to go.

Where I Will be Living

I will be living in the medium sized city of Changchun, home to the head of the former Manchukuo puppet state, home of the last emperor, one of China’s famed garden cities, and so forth. Some of the things I’m most excited to see while I’m there are the natural hot springs and the yearly Ice Festival! (Check out the pictures below!)

One of Jilin’s popular hot springs.
The yearly Harbin Ice Festival.

How Long I’ll be There

My contract is for a full 12 months. I should be leaving for China in about mid-September, and thus will return one year from then.

What I’ll be Doing

I will be teaching English! I have such a passion for language and learning, so put those two together and, well, you can see why I’m so excited to go. 😉

Why I’m Going

This one is a longer answer, but I’ll boil it down to this: I love to travel, I want to improve my Chinese by actually immersing myself in the language and culture, this job will help me to get experience and funds for graduate school, and I simply want to. Ever since I was 11 years old, I’ve wanted to pack up and move overseas, and appreciate the culture and history of wherever I wound up. I see so many older folks say “I wish I’d done X, Y, or Z when I was younger”, and yet they never did. I refuse to let that be me.

Yes, it’s kind of scary moving overseas. Especially to a country half way around the world, where you only kinda-sorta understand the language and customs.  But if you never jump, you’ll never know what waits on the other side.

So, I’m jumping.

 

If you’d like to stay up-to-date with my many adventures in and around China, subscribe to my mailing list (in the right-hand sidebar), my YouTube channel, or any of my social media pages at the top!

 

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Productivity Update: June 2017

It’s been some time, hasn’t it? Much has changed since my last update, with exciting new developments and more.

 

I currently have over 60,000 words written for this bad boy! Still pushing along, and I’m hoping to finish at 75,000 by early August. This is easily my favorite work I’ve ever penned, reaching from Alexander’s conquests to China’s Communist Revolution, from lost alchemic rituals to the bonds that thread us all together. I can’t wait to get this in the hands of readers! Obviously I have a great deal of work ahead, but I’m looking forward to it all the same. I’m hoping to be done with my first full edit of The Immortal by the end of 2017.

 

THE-STOLEN-SUN-BANNER

A magazine almost picked this up, but then decided it wasn’t for them. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Either way, I have this piece out on submission at two other places now, and if those fall through, I’ll take a step back to retool it. I mean, I wrote this two and a half years ago! The writing deities might just be saying it’s time to slap a new coat of paint on it, huh?

 

I was supposed to post a video at the end of May, but my old computer died, taking that (entirely edited! ?) video with it. However, I do have a different video that I am working on right now (5 Tips to Stay Sharp over Summer Break), so expect that soon! I’m also going to post videos on writing and language learning on my YouTube channel, so click this link and subscribe!

 

I have officially graduated with my Bachelor’s in International Security and minors in Mandarin Chinese and Asian Studies! And I’m moving! TO CHINA! I’ll be posting more on where I’ll be living, what I’ll be doing there, etc. in the near future, but regardless I am incredibly excited to make my way out into the Big Wide World as a Certified Adult™. In the meantime, I’m trying to get visa documents squared away, working, writing, building up this website, and so forth.

 

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What are you up to during these summer months? Any projects or travels? Leave a comment below! Thanks for stopping by, and until next time!

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